Changing things up

 I was stuck for a while, trying to figure out what to write about next. I couldn't figure out quite where to go with the blog. I kind of covered all I set out to cover, but didn't want to just let it die. 

What I've decided to to instead is to cover living my life now. 

There is, of course, more to me than just a brain injury. Not one person with a disability is just their disability. They are actual people with actual lives, likes and dislikes, aspirations and fears. So, here I am. Also, I have so many more injuries!

With that in mind, I figure I'll write about more of my strange medical nonsense today.

I found out last week that I'm hypermobile. The conversation with the rheumatologist was interesting. She checked a few of my joints for flexibility, then asked if I'd ever dislocated anything. The answer was yes. I've dislocated both shoulders, but only for a second or so. 

Apparently that doesn't happen to everyone.

When my spouse told me that I had to be super flexible while we were doing yoga one day, he was right, it seems. However, I always thought that to be hypermobile you had to be able to put your ankle behind your head or something. Nope. I guess being able to fall off of Dansko clogs is also a hyperflexible trait.

This being the case, I know where I got it from. My mom has ankles that wouldn't hold her up when she really needed them to for years. She's sprained her ankles more times than I can count. 

I went to the doctor once for something, can't remember what. She was an osteopath. She checked me over a bit, then said "Did you know one of your ribs is a little out of place?" 

The answer, of course, was no. If I had, I likely would have mentioned it before. She tried to kind of push it back to where it was supposed to go, with no luck. I went home unexpectedly angry. Not about the her, not about the rib, but about the process, for some reason. I got over it, but it was a very weird feeling.

Now, it's not severe. I don't have it to the point where I just dislocate random joints all the time. I can walk well, always could even before I had to relearn. Haven't had to be in a wheelchair since the couple of months after the stroke. It could 100% be far worse than it is.

However, I've been told I shouldn't stretch as vigorously, as I could damage my joints, and I should work on my core strength. Good news is, I'm already doing that. So kind of just continue on with it. 

It is weird, though, finding out you don't move like a regular person when you're 50. It does explain the ridiculous number of issues I have with my hands; tendons and nerves becoming trapped, two tendon sheaths being too close and irritating each other, requiring surgery to correct, and suddenly developing a nerve entrapment which required the nerve to be moved to a new channel specifically created by the surgeon.

So, yeah. It explains a lot. Just another weird diagnosis in my life, nbd. Situation Normal, All Fucked Up, as my mom would say. She has a lot of good sayings.

Hey so I wrote this thing...

It was about 90% the same as the last blog post. So I'm writing a new one.

I started the training two weeks ago! It's a good fit. I've met some new people and learned some new things. I like this new field! 

Next on my agenda is finding somewhere to work. Hopefully, I can do the job online and check in with whoever I work for, then connect with the people who run the training for the continuing ed credits. 

This is a new move for me, but a good one, I think. Fingers crossed for the future!

Something on the Horizon

I have news! I begin training for what I hope will be a new job for me in about two weeks! 

I’m very happy with this, because I really thought working was just done for me. I hated that idea. I worked almost solidly from the time I was 17 to when I was 43 and had the stroke. Not working afterward seemed like the only option, yes, but thinking I'd never work again was,, honestly, extremely depressing. 

Why would not working be so bad? Well, one thing about working is that it's a different part of your life. Something to do with its own problems and solutions, a place with different people and other things to do. While it's good for a lot of people, being a house spouse has never been my aspiration. It wasn't what I dreamed of as a kid, as a teen, and certainly not as the adult I was up until 2019. 

After, it wasn't really something I wanted either. It was more of a “well, I guess this is my life now.” I can find some joy in it, but I'm not doing anything new, I’m not really helping anyone, and I want to be. I don't like not doing it. 

This could change that! I heard about it a few years ago and thought it sounded like something I might want to do. Then, the person who was going to try to get the training started couldn't finish the process. Eventually, I matched up with a social worker who worked in a place that had the program, and here we are.

Sometimes things you want can take longer than you think they will to actually happen. Sometimes you give up on those things, then the thing suddenly works and the peoces fall into place. 

The trick is waiting to see how it wor

ks out.

Summertime Thoughts

Well, it's August, and I feel like crap. I don't have a summer cold, even though I thought I might for a minute. I have allergies! Again! 

I might have written that I had to stop taking my allergy med because my liver doesn't like it. If I haven't, I guess I just did. I was on that allergy med for several blissful years, not feeling my environmental allergies and blithely breathing every summer. Now, I've got nothing except Benadryl. Today's dose either didn't work, or I was feeling super awful this morning. I'm pretty sure it's that I was feeling super awful. This is evidenced by the fact I took a Benadryl this morning at about 5am, and then a second one at 6:30. 

Good things? Well, I can't really remember what I was feeling like this morning, so there's that. Not good things are that I’m chattier than usual (sucks to be around me), I'm disorganized and kind of spacey. Sometimes you just want to be put together, quietly contemplative and sedate. I am most decidedly not those things, not today.

It really sucks that my allergies didn't just disappear when I had the stroke. That would have been pretty awesome. However, two things can be true at the same time, and hence, here I am.

I really hope I don't feel like this for long. Despite the hyperactivity, it's slowing me down.

The Excitement Never Ends!

 I have a colonoscopy coming up! Well, it's in August, but still. It's a super fun thing everyone should do!

Ok, ok ,ok. It's not super fun. Everyone should do it, though.

Not everyone does, though, and that's a problem. Honestly it's pretty much the easiest procedure to have. Sure, the prep sucks, but the payoff is huge. You get it done the first time, and they will put out on either the 1, 2, 3 or 5 year plan. I’m on the 2 year. So, if I can do this every couple of years, I know you can do it. Most places even fully knock you out for it now (as opposed to just mostly knock you out, as they used to–but you don't remember it then, either)! Score! 

Seriously, it's the best way to detect any issues with your colon, and we don't live a lifestyle in this country that's good for anyone's colon. Heck, being a human isn't good for a colon. Being bipedal wasn't the best idea we've ever had for many reasons.

Anyway, as I mentioned, the prep sucks, but that's usually only for 24 hours before the morning of your procedure. When you get down to it, some people do this on purpose, for their health. There was some high colonic fad thing some years back, where people did it for health reasons. Like, spoil-yourself health reasons. Like, of their own accord without being medically pressured into it health reasons. 

So, maybe just pretend that's what you're doing. Suddenly, you're a celebrity! The camera is just some really, really overzealous paparazzi!

I mean, honestly, whatever gets you moving. (Heh. Moving.)

So if you're of the right age and haven't done it already, make your celebrity-like colonic appointment. Do it for the same reason they did. Do it f

or you.

So, here's how it's going

 It took me about 15 minutes to figure out how to get to the post writing page today. This really isn't ideal, as you may imagine. Broken brain gonna be broke, though. 

Hand surgery done, and I can type for a bit, but not that much, so this is going to have to be short today. 

All in all, things are much better. I'm doing therapy to get things working the way they were, and am able to do more things at home than I was able to before. 

My surgeon said "it was a mess in there." So, I feel justified in having been in Soo much pain from it. Still weird that it was a mess in there, but it at least feels like I wasn't imagining it. 

So, things are good, for thee moment. Not saying it too loudly, and definitely not counting any chickens before they're hatched, but things are ok. Normal life still happens, of course, and it's thrown a couple of huge wrenches at us. We're making it through, though.

My Current Little Peninsula of lLfe

 So, while things may be messy across the world right now, I still have stuff to do. The main focus in the next two weeks is my hand surgery! Finally! It took a while but it's on my schedule for two weeks from now. 

After it stops hurting, it's going to feel so much better. I’m very much looking forward to it, even though I'm going to be essentially out of commission for about 4-6 weeks. I imagine I can let other people cook and pick up. I can let other people do laundry, load and unload the dishwasher. Then a bit of hand therapy and I’ll be way better than now. 

It's tough, having your dominant hand hobbled by sharp pains when you try to do something, or when you try to do anything really. Things you can do with little thought suddenly take planning and care to accomplish without swearing. I’ve been over this whole thing for a year now. It's time. 

I’m a little concerned about the after effects, about how I'll be able to use it after. I'm hoping it won't be much different than my carpal tunnel surgeries. It's not terribly different now, honestly. The outside of my right thumb is numb, there's the whole pain thing, and I can't use my hand like I'm accustomed to. 

So, yeah. It's about time. 

I need to figure out how to make things easier on the family while I'm out of commission. I was thinking about putting together meal kits for making dinners but I think I'll just pre-bake snacks and treats. That way we'll have things and won't have to go buy things that aren't as good for us. I think that's the way to go. Premake some bread, muffins, cookies or brownies, maybe donuts, or possibly bagels. I really don't know. I have a week and a lot of flour. Things will get done, for sure. 

What will I do after, though? Cooking is always my fallback activity, something that keeps me busy but also has a big reward to it. Can't play video games, really. I could read, though. Well, we’re headed to the comic book store this weekend, so maybe I’ll find something there. 

I’m also going to try getting a couple of blog posts pre-written. The. I won't have to worry about that. Forgot to do that last time, and later realized I was MIA for a few weeks. Sorry about that. 

That's part of what I'll do the next couple o

f weeks.