"You're lucky to be alive."

 Today, and possibly for a few posts, I've decided to cover commonly heard phrases. 

There are a lot of them, really, but the title is one I've heard a few times. Not a lot, but it's definitely been said. I don't disagree when people say it, but it comes with problems. 

There are all sorts of people with brain injuries. Some, you can tell by looking at them or talking to them. Many, you can't.

If you tell someone who acts and moves and speaks like your average person that they're lucky to be alive, they may even have agree with you. However, they quite likely don't feel the same way. 

I mean, it's a fraught statement, right? It implies good luck. It implies an acceptance of their new circumstances. It implies that living through whatever ordeal they've survived should be enough. 

It's not aways enough. 

Don't get me wrong, a lot of us are very much aware we could be exploring the Great Beyond instead of living our lives. We know that we could be in far worse shape, or still comatose, or in a persistent vegetative state, or this, or that, or the other thing.

We know. In some cases, we were there, and even if we don't remember it, we still know. We likely remember the therapy to come back from it, too, and that's no picnic, folks. It's a lot of work. 

When you think of all we did to get to where we are now,  luck likely had nothing to do with it. We quite likely had amazing family, incredible doctors and superhero therapists who helped us get to where we are at that moment. 

I mean, sure, we lived though our event, whatever it was. Probably. Maybe. I know several people who technically didn't, actually. The fact that they're still here isn't luck. It was hard work by a lot of people. You've maybe heard that it takes a village to raise a child. Well, it takes more than a village to help a person with a brain injury to recover. 

So, maybe, if you're ever tempted too tell someone they're lucky to be alive, you'll remember this post, and say instead "you've worked so hard to get to where you are now. It's amazing."

It wouldn't take to much of a thought change to acknowledge the work that went into the person you're talking to. It wouldn't hurt to turn it into a positive accomplishment on their part as opposed to blind luck at what was likely the most unlucky event of their life. 

Positivity is what pushes us on. Positive growth, forward motion, achieving goals and making new ones, these all come into play. 

Please don't chalk it up to the same thing that helps someone win big in Vegas.