I don't plan my writing. I should, I know. I have before, of course, but nowadays, I kind of get an idea of what I'm going to write about and just...shoot. It's worked ok, thus far. Sometimes I don't figure out a topic beforehand at all. I very rarely research my topics, either, since the topic is something I'm pretty well versed in, anyway. So often, what you get is a spell checked stream of consciousness. I usually read it over again for the sake of clarity, of course, but mostly what you see is what I've thought out at the time.
All that aside, I can't write all that much for today. I've developed (yet another) issue with the tendons in my right hand, and it kind of hurts to type. Something called DeQuervain's Tenosynovitis is slowing me down. Not sure where it came from, but it could be related to my cane use or phone use (I mean, so much of my life exists on my phone, I use it quite a lot).
After a couple of months of occupational therapy for it, it hasn't improved much, pain-wise. The cortisone shot I received only helped for 4 or 5 days, and using a brace isn't helping, either. So, the next option is surgery to correct it. I meet with the surgeon in December to discuss and then schedule the surgery.
I wish I could say I was taken off guard with this, but I wasn't. You've heard that expression "waiting for the other shoe to drop?" Well, there have been several shoes dropping over the past decade or so. This is just another in the rain of rain boots.
Which is fine. I suppose.
I'm trying not to become complacent in the "well everything else has turned out fine" department. That wouldn't do at all. Life is full of surprises, and I am full of life, I guess. I figure at this point life is just throwing me one giant surprise party. Things are just very interesting.
Of course, I sometimes get overwhelmed by one thing or another. The current overwhelming thing isn't fully diagnosed yet, so I can't quite assimilate it. That thing is a couple of weird levels of minerals in my body.
I think I mentioned collecting -ologists in my last post. Suffice to say, it's an ongoing collection. I've added a nephrologist, who has taken me on as a patient and also referred me to an endocrinologist. I've looked at my file online and saw that the idea of a rheumatologist has been thrown in there.
It's a lot to handle, but then, it's been a lot to handle for several years now.
What do you do when this happens? I know I've thought that myself when hearing of other people going through Multiple Big Things at Once. The truth is, apparently you just put your head down and face it like an offensive lineman and try to divert the Big Things.
In short, it's hard, but you deal with each thing as it comes, as put together as you can be. All that said, I have a very good support system. My family members are key in this, as are a few close friends. I have a counselor who I talk to every two weeks. I do have access to occupational, speech and physical therapists. I have my reasonably well equipped kitchen where I can cook any number of things that will distract me from what may be on my mind. I have video games, books, windows to look out, music to listen to, and people I text or check in with.
There are times when all of those things don't work, of course, and you're left with nothing but your own thoughts. That's when it sucks. There are a lot of people out there in the same or similar circumstances, and of course, most of the outside world doesn't know about it, so they don't realize they could help.
I don't blame people when they don't know about what's going on. I mean, that's my fault. I don't let loose with a whole lot of details about my life. They're still there, though, the details. The things that are on my mind sit there and just weigh my thoughts down. I usually try to get different thoughts under it, more buoyant thoughts, better thoughts. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.
So pretty much, what happens when life gets overwhelming is, well, we deal with it. Sometimes we deal with it in a healthy way, sometimes we don't. Sometimes we talk about it, sometimes we keep it to ourselves.
Right now, I just kind of want to spoil myself a bit, you know, get manicures, massages, eat cheesecake. work out, go places, do things, make plans. All sorts of distractions, I know, but who says distractions aren't part of the offensive lineman analogy? I've heard of those guys doing all sorts of distracting things when they're lined up to distract the defense, and when you distract the defense, you can get something out of it. That's what I'm aiming for.
